KODI WOLF
Lesbian Romance & Erotica


Anxiety and Insomnia

Friday, March 2, 2007

Written by Kodi Wolf at 10:24 PM

I hate anxiety and insomnia. The one makes it difficult for me to focus when I'm awake and the other makes it hard for me to fall asleep when I'm tired. I'm used to dealing with a general level of both pretty much every day, but when there's extra stuff that raises those levels above normal, I have problems coping.

Corene is having knee surgery on the 15th. It's not as major as it sounds. She's just having some old torn cartilage scraped out that's leftover from a car accident she was in more than twenty years ago. With doing the renovations on the house, the physical activity has caused fluid to build up in a cyst on the back of her knee, which is painful. The doctor said he could drain the cyst to relieve the pain, but it would come back in a year if they didn't take care of the underlying cause, which is the old torn cartilage. Hence, the surgery.

She'll only be under for about half an hour, and she should be sent home a couple hours after the surgery, and assuming everything goes well, she should be back to work on Monday the 19th, though she'll probably be on crutches for a while. But my little brain can't help thinking of all the things that could go wrong. I've only had Corene for seven years and the thought of losing her over something so trivial... I think I would go insane.

So, I've been trying to focus on other things. I tend to clean when my anxiety is up, so the house is in pretty good shape. I've been trying to write, but my focus is off, so I've only managed a few snippets here and there. Mostly, I've been playing Age of Empires II: The Conqueror's Expansion. It's a fantasy realm where I'm in control, which helps counter some of the anxiety about all the things I'm not in control of. I think it's pretty good therapy, but I still wish I could stop having anxiety attacks all the time. I just want the surgery to be over and done with and everything to be okay, so I can go back to my more normal semi-insane state.

At least Corene understands. She says she loves me, too. :)

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Hey,

Sorry for the fake out, but I don't collect email addresses for marketing purposes.

I was just told I needed an email signup form on my pages, so I created this one as part of the original design, then changed my mind, but decided to leave this here as an Uno reverse card. :)

Anyway, my stories are my sales pitch and if the free chapters (and entire books) aren't enough to convince you to pay for access to more of the same, then I don't see how my bugging you with emails is going to change your mind.

Plus, I have social phobia and trying to come up with marketing emails is my definition of an anxiety-inducing nightmare.

Not to mention that's not what I want to be doing with my precious writing time or wasting your precious reading time.

So, if you want to get an email from me, you'll either have to purchase a Story or Site Membership, or email me directly and talk to me about my stories.

Or ask me a question and I'll do my best to answer.

But seriously, email me about my stories.

Tell me what you liked, what you wish I'd done differently, your favorite scenes.

Especially if there's one story in particular you'd like me to update. I know some of them have been sorely neglected and it motivates me to work on them when my anxiety and chronic pain are making that more difficult than usual.

Hope to hear from you soon. :)

Take care,

Kodi